My brain on jazz.
If you’re subscribed to my newsletter, you might remember from my welcome email that I promised I would share some silly thoughts as well. This is one of them. 😬
The truth is, I think a lot. It’s a blessing, a curse, a superpower and a huge battery drainer — often all at the same time.
I think about thoughts. I think about feelings. What has been, what will be and most of all, what could be. Which usually lands me smack in the middle of anxietyland, but that’s a discussion for another time.
I take a break when I sleep (unless I dream) and then I pick it up where I left off. Alcohol doesn’t really slow me down. If anything, it adds an extra pep in my overthinking step. I have to be reaaaaally tired or reaaaaally intoxicated to finally hit the breaks on the thought train.
Yes, of course I’m a chronic overthinker. (Is there any other kind? 🤭)
So imagine my surprise when I finally found something that puts my brain on hold. Jazz.
I don’t like jazz. Never have. I find it mind-numbingly boring (there’s a clue), repetitive, void of any feeling. Feel free to throw any virtual tomatoes at me and punish me for my ignorance.
But it does the trick. Because I find it so dull and repetitive, it sends me into some kind of weird state where all thoughts are suspended.
My brain still works, doing the bare minimum. Remembering to breathe, answer a text message or get off the bus at the right stop. It goes through the motions. But the overthinking is gone. 😮
I no longer stress about the latest article I published at work (hello, imposter syndrome), or whether my best friend has been really busy or secretly mad at me. I’m no longer lost in thought (and worry) about my future, my past or anything in between.
It’s refreshing.
Don’t get me wrong. My brain doesn’t like it. It’s used to working overtime, and this sudden interruption feels weird and honestly, quite rude. How dare I stray away from its regularly scheduled programming?
But I kinda do. And it makes me wonder. Could I find more ways to hit the snooze button on the overthinking tsunami?
I guess I’ll keep looking. And listen to some goddamn jazz every once in a while. 🙄