Right on cue.
I was thinking recently how much we rely on cues to live moments, feel things and make changes in our lives. It might seem obvious but we (or at least I) often forget.
It wasn’t until yesterday, when we had our first proper snowfall in my city - the beautiful kind, with big fat snowflakes dancing joyfully in the air on their way down - that I felt winter has really come.
It has been getting colder, days have gotten shorter, Christmas decorations have popped up everywhere - and yet, I needed to see the trees, cars and buildings all dressed in white for that information to really sink in…I have a feeling many of us are feeling this way.
As humans, we’ve always needed cues, of all kinds.
The sky getting darker each evening reminds us we should be wrapping up our day and getting some sleep.
Flowers budding on tree branches in the spring remind us to open those windows, let the fresh air rush in and start anew.
Eye contact and a nod or smile remind us that people care and we’re being listened to, and that we should keep going.
So then why, all of a sudden, I’m failing to pick up on obvious cues that the seasons have changed? Why do I need more cues than I used to?
Because I’m disconnected.
I wish I could recover from this as quickly as I do from the common cold. A couple of days of “intense” rest, proper medication and I’d be good as new. Instead, I fear this disconnect is more like a tumor that will keep on growing unless I treat it aggressively.
I also wish I were one of those people who thrive in the city. I’m not. I can’t breathe fully amongst concrete buildings, angry drivers and loud noises. I can’t rest properly if I don’t spend enough time in the sun - or at the very least, outside. By nature of my corporate job, and the bustling city life I somehow ended up living, that is hard to do.
I’m no longer able to pick up on obvious nature cues, because I spend more time looking away from them, and looking into a bright computer screen.
Worse yet, I pick up on cues from the world I am (sadly) more connected to - the online world - where everything happens at light speed, if not instantly. We’re not meant to function like that, and if we are, that’s not a world I want to belong to.
Every time I get a chance to slow down, spend time outside, see the light change throughout the day - it’s like an internal clock resets, and I’m at peace again. Only to return to my “regularly scheduled programming” come Monday.
I wish there could really be room for both in our lives - the hustle and the peace, real peace - and I wouldn’t have to feel guilty when I inevitably “fail” at both. Maybe then I could feel the winter coming, and really take it in before it’s gone.
Maybe then I would stop feeling so out of sync all the time.