Whatever gets you through the day.
I used to be a rather judgemental person. Who am I kidding — I still am, most days.
Lately, it’s become more of a primal brain thing. It comes on instinctively and if I can’t muster enough willpower to stop it, the beast rears its ugly head. When I’m feeling silly, I like to blame it on my zodiac sign. (I’m a Capricorn)
Usually, empathy cuts through the noise and lends a helping hand. But as I mentioned in my last letter, empathy and I are in a bit of a squabble right now, so I can’t rely on it to save the day every time.
I wouldn’t say I’m growing wiser by the year, but I will say that I’m getting better at seeking peace. Such is the case here.
See, contrary to popular belief, judgement is not a light feeling. There’s some discomfort there (to be expected when dealing with anything that is different or unfamiliar, whatever that means to you) and sometimes, there’s shame too.
So now, most of the time, I choose peace. I choose to say “whatever gets you through the day”.
Dress however you please, act or speak however you want - as long as it makes you happy, go for it. But know this:
If unkindness is what gets you through the day, I will judge the hell out of you.
The truth is, we’re quick to judge without knowing someone’s full story. But if there’s one scenario in which I think judgement is warranted, I would say it’s when people are being unkind, rude, malicious or downright evil.
For many of us, judging is a silly pastime, a guilty pleasure that we indulge in from time to time - to make ourselves feel better by comparison or just to distract us from the harsh reality of life. As long as it doesn’t hurt anybody (including yourself), it’s a yes from me.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go judge myself a bit, which is what I do best.